EQ and Self-Talk: Rewriting the Story You Tell Yourself
EQ and Self-Talk: Rewriting the Story You Tell Yourself
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We all talk to ourselves — and often, that inner voice can be harsher than anything others would ever say to us. Self-talk shapes how we see ourselves and the world. Emotional intelligence helps us recognize negative patterns, challenge them, and replace them with healthier narratives.
4 Transformations in Self-Talk
“I always fail at this.” → “I’m still learning, and every mistake teaches me something valuable.”
“Nobody cares about me.” → “I can nurture relationships by reaching out more, instead of waiting to be noticed.”
“I can’t do this.” → “I’ve overcome challenges before; I can break this down into steps and handle it.”
“I’m not enough.” → “I bring unique strengths that no one else can.”
3 Historical Oddities About Self-Talk
Marcus Aurelius, a Roman emperor, wrote Meditations as a form of positive self-talk to remind himself of perspective and control.
In the 1920s, French psychologist Émile Coué spread the affirmation: “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better.”
NASA used positive self-talk training for astronauts to manage fear and stress in high-pressure environments.
EQ Challenge Free E-Book
EQ Challenge Free E-Book
The EQ Challenge is a practical guide to mastering emotional intelligence (EQ) as a learnable skill, not a fixed trait. The book refutes the myth that some people are simply "naturally" good with people, arguing instead that anyone can develop the core competencies of EQ through consistent practice. Get this Book Now!
Am I trippin with myself, I might be!
Am I trippin with myself, I might be,
Talking down when I should set me free.
The mirror reflects not flaws, but light,
A story I can rewrite tonight.
If I trip, let it be on hope,
Not tangled fears that steal my rope.
I’ll catch myself, stand tall, and see—
The best voice I need is inside of me.
Fortify This:
Changing your self-talk doesn’t happen overnight. But by catching your inner critic and shifting the script, you can literally rewrite your life story.
The 5 Core Elements of EQ (And How They Show Up in Everyday Life)
The 5 Core Elements of EQ (And How They Show Up in Everyday Life)
We’ve all heard the phrase “emotional intelligence” (or EQ), but what does it really mean in day-to-day life? While IQ measures logic and problem-solving, EQ measures how well we understand and manage our emotions — and how we connect with others. Psychologist Daniel Goleman popularized the idea that emotional intelligence has five key elements: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.
When these elements work together, they don’t just make us “nicer people” — they make us stronger communicators, better decision-makers, and more resilient humans. Let’s break them down.
The 5 Core Elements & Everyday Examples
The 5 Core Elements & Everyday Examples
Self-Awareness – The foundation of EQ. It’s about recognizing your own emotions as they happen.
Example: Before a big presentation, you notice your heart racing. Instead of ignoring it, you acknowledge your nervousness and take a moment to breathe, helping you calm down and perform better.Self-Regulation – The ability to control impulses and think before acting.
Example: You receive a critical email. Instead of firing back a defensive reply, you wait, cool down, and craft a thoughtful response that resolves the issue instead of escalating it.Motivation – The drive to achieve goals for personal satisfaction, not just external rewards.
Example: You train for a half-marathon, not for medals or applause, but because you want to challenge yourself and feel stronger.Empathy – Understanding and sharing the feelings of others.
Example: A coworker snaps at you during a stressful project. Instead of taking it personally, you pause and consider they might be overwhelmed, and you ask if they need support.Social Skills – Building and maintaining healthy relationships.
Example: At a networking event, instead of just talking about yourself, you show genuine curiosity in others by asking meaningful questions — and leave with connections that matter.
3 Historical Oddities About EQ
3 Historical Oddities About EQ
In the 1930s, psychologist Edward Thorndike introduced “social intelligence” long before EQ became mainstream.
Stoic philosophers like Seneca and Marcus Aurelius practiced emotional self-regulation daily — journaling their thoughts to keep emotions in check.
During WWII, military recruiters tested for “emotional stability” when assigning soldiers to high-stress positions, essentially measuring EQ before the term existed.
4 Resources
4 Resources
Fortify This:
Mastering EQ isn’t about perfection; it’s about being aware of your emotions, managing them with grace, and showing empathy to others.
EQ Challenge Free E-Book
EQ Challenge Free E-Book
The EQ Challenge is a practical guide to mastering emotional intelligence (EQ) as a learnable skill, not a fixed trait. The book refutes the myth that some people are simply "naturally" good with people, arguing instead that anyone can develop the core competencies of EQ through consistent practice. Get this Book Now!
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