Let’s talk about emotional availability—the invisible gatekeeper to healthy connections, whether romantic, friendly, or even professional. It's not just about feeling your feelings; it’s about being ready to share them, hold space for others, and build real intimacy without the walls and the weird excuses.

So, how do you know if you're emotionally available or… just emotionally occupied? Let’s be honest—it’s not always easy to admit when we’re the ones shutting the door. But don’t worry—this article is here to give you clarity, not judgment.

5 Signs You May Be Emotionally Available

1. You Can Communicate Your Feelings Without Exploding or Ghosting
   You’re honest with others, but not harsh. You express how you feel and why, even when it’s uncomfortable.
   
   

2. You Don’t Run at the First Sign of Vulnerability
   You’re not afraid of deep conversations, raw emotions, or someone crying during a Netflix movie.
   
   

3. You’re Comfortable with Boundaries (Yours and Theirs)
   You know how to say “no” without guilt and respect when others do the same.
   
   

4. You Can Love Without Needing to Control
   You allow people to be themselves without constantly trying to “fix” them. You love without being overbearing.

5. You’ve Healed Enough to Show Up Fully You're self-aware, have done inner work, and don’t carry unresolved baggage into every interaction.

 5 Signs You May Not Be Emotionally Available

1. You Say "I Don’t Do Feelings"… Like It’s a Flex
   You brush off emotional topics with sarcasm or humor to avoid vulnerability.
   
   

2. You Keep Relationships Surface-Level
   Whether it’s friends, partners, or family—everyone gets the edited, highlight-reel version of you.
   
   

3. You Pull Away When Things Get “Too Real”
   As soon as someone shows genuine care or connection, you vanish, create conflict, or find a reason to bail.
   
   

4. You’re Still Healing But Pretending You’re Not
   You haven’t really unpacked past trauma or heartbreaks, but you keep telling yourself and others, "I’m fine."
   
   

5. You Look for Red Flags—Then Use Them as Excuses
   You find faults in everyone to avoid getting too close: “She’s too clingy.” “He talks to his mom too much.” “They don’t like guacamole.”

 3 Helpful Resources to Explore Emotional Availability

1. Book: Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
   A helpful breakdown of attachment styles and how they affect your emotional relationships.
   
   

2. Podcast: Therapy Chat with Laura Reagan
   Discussions around emotional healing, trauma recovery, and how to develop stronger emotional connections.
   
   

3. Website: www.mindful.org
   Great articles on self-awareness, emotional mindfulness, and relationship building.

 Short Funny Poem: “Nah, I’m Fine.”

You ask if I’m good, I say “Yeah, I’m alright,”
Then eat three tacos alone Friday night.
I laugh at your memes, but don’t text you back,
My heart's like my fridge—emotionally packed.

I’ve ghosted my feelings, dodged calls from my soul,
Built walls so high, even birds pay a toll.
But one day I’ll heal, be open, align…
Just not this week though… Nah, I’m fine.

Fortify This

Being emotionally available doesn’t mean being perfect—it means being present, honest, and courageous enough to feel and be felt. So whether you're emotionally open or still learning how to be, give yourself some grace. The first step to deeper connection is awareness—and hey, you made it to the end of this article, didn’t you?

Stay Fortified, Stay Real. 💛
– Fortified Living Blog, Club Fortified